Sometimes...
Sometimes I think it might be better if we just moved away. Family has been mostly what is keeping us here, but now I'm thinking why even bother. It has been one fight, one frustration after another. Now that Travis is finished with school, we are seriously considering selling our house and packing it up. I would say at least 85% of my problem is stemmed from family issues, and I am just tired of the whole thing. We just want to be happy, and raise our son to be happy too. He is going to be old enough soon to remember things, and I don't want him to carry around comments and hurt feelings the way I have/do.
One time he was crying because he was tired. "If you keep crying, those truck drivers coming down the road are going to laugh at you." I don't want him thinking if he does something wrong he'll be laughed at. I have grown up thinking that if I'm not perfect in any given situation, I'll be laughed at. He won't.
He won't be growing up being upset during every birthday party he has because our family can't get past themselves for 5 minutes and put their differences aside and come to his party regardless of who is there. I've had to do it. And if that ticks you off, don't read my blog!
He won't grow up depressed all the time, and feeling like everything is his fault. Oh, Grandma's mad, it must be my fault. No, I don't think so. I have, he won't.
He won't be growing up listening to the family arguing everyday. And he won't be around those who call a couple times a month only to bring up things to start trouble and try to make others miserable like they are.
The fact is, I hate it here. I am so tired of only being here because I feel like if I move away I'll be letting my family down. I don't know that it will be much better anywhere else, but I will have the choice to be around who I want to be.
Sorry for the downer, but I had to get that off my chest.
Busy Busy!Party Party Party!
I have been so busy this week. I've decided I need to get my rear end in gear and plan Dalen's birthday party. I've got the venue booked and paid for, check. I designed his invitations and have ordered them as postcards online. I'm really nervous about it though. I'm worried I'm going to get them back and they won't be right and then I'll be stuck with them. But...I'm going to just not think about it. They will be fine. I got them for $0.28 each! The website is Gotprint. Sometime today I should be getting an online proof to approve before they begin printing. Which I think is awesome. Also the company is totally USA, with a printing factory in Kentucky.
I bought a digital scrapbook kit on The Shabby Shoppe called Giggle Box. I think it's really cute.
When I started out I didn't really have a theme, but it's turned into the word "one" and the number "1". His Grandma M is making his birthday cake, so I'm not sure exactly what will be the final product, but I e-mailed her this as an idea.
Also, if she still can order them, she can put images on the cake, like a picture, so I might revamp the invitations into one big image to go on the cake to keep things more consistent.
I've decided that I'm not buying matching plates, cups, etc. I just got styrofoam (yes I know it's not ecofriendly, but it was cheap) plates, blue plastic cups, and regular napkins. But...I've still got alot of shopping to do! I'm getting there though. Hopefully it will in the end be a great party.
I have been so busy this week. I've decided I need to get my rear end in gear and plan Dalen's birthday party. I've got the venue booked and paid for, check. I designed his invitations and have ordered them as postcards online. I'm really nervous about it though. I'm worried I'm going to get them back and they won't be right and then I'll be stuck with them. But...I'm going to just not think about it. They will be fine. I got them for $0.28 each! The website is Gotprint. Sometime today I should be getting an online proof to approve before they begin printing. Which I think is awesome. Also the company is totally USA, with a printing factory in Kentucky.
I bought a digital scrapbook kit on The Shabby Shoppe called Giggle Box. I think it's really cute.When I started out I didn't really have a theme, but it's turned into the word "one" and the number "1". His Grandma M is making his birthday cake, so I'm not sure exactly what will be the final product, but I e-mailed her this as an idea.
Also, if she still can order them, she can put images on the cake, like a picture, so I might revamp the invitations into one big image to go on the cake to keep things more consistent.I've decided that I'm not buying matching plates, cups, etc. I just got styrofoam (yes I know it's not ecofriendly, but it was cheap) plates, blue plastic cups, and regular napkins. But...I've still got alot of shopping to do! I'm getting there though. Hopefully it will in the end be a great party.
A Fun Weekend
Travis is finally done with school!!! Yay!!! We are still waiting on his final grades to be posted.
We have been thinking of ways to spend more time together now that he has more time. We decided to get our Netflix subscription back. They have changed it some since we had it last. We can now get some movies and watch them instantly on our computer, they are mostly older movies. Ever since Trav's film class when one of his assigned movies was a silent movie, we have become big fans of them. So Saturday night we watched one called Nosferatu made in 1929. Nosferatu is German for Symphony of Horror! Wow. It scared the CRAP out of me! But it was awesome. They really knew how to make scary movies back then.
I've also been reading alot this past week. I was referred to a couple Christian authors that I though I'd give a try. I'm on the last chapter of Danger in The Shadows by Dee Henderson.
It has been a really good book. I've never read Christian novels before. The ones at Walmart all look like they are about Amish people, but this book is more about normal, everyday people. It has danger, romance (in a tasteful way), and suspense. It's a prequel to a series of books, so I'm excited to read the rest of them.
Dalen's not walking yet. But he is pulling himself up on my end table and pulling everything off, and he loves getting into our DVDs. The fun begins...
My baby will be 11 months old tomorrow.
Travis is finally done with school!!! Yay!!! We are still waiting on his final grades to be posted.
We have been thinking of ways to spend more time together now that he has more time. We decided to get our Netflix subscription back. They have changed it some since we had it last. We can now get some movies and watch them instantly on our computer, they are mostly older movies. Ever since Trav's film class when one of his assigned movies was a silent movie, we have become big fans of them. So Saturday night we watched one called Nosferatu made in 1929. Nosferatu is German for Symphony of Horror! Wow. It scared the CRAP out of me! But it was awesome. They really knew how to make scary movies back then.
I've also been reading alot this past week. I was referred to a couple Christian authors that I though I'd give a try. I'm on the last chapter of Danger in The Shadows by Dee Henderson.
It has been a really good book. I've never read Christian novels before. The ones at Walmart all look like they are about Amish people, but this book is more about normal, everyday people. It has danger, romance (in a tasteful way), and suspense. It's a prequel to a series of books, so I'm excited to read the rest of them.Dalen's not walking yet. But he is pulling himself up on my end table and pulling everything off, and he loves getting into our DVDs. The fun begins...
My baby will be 11 months old tomorrow.
A Little Worried
For a couple months now I've been waking up in the middle of the night feeling really nauseous. I thought it was just indigestion, but sometimes I would actually be sick, and it still keeps happening. When I was at my dr.'s office last time I mentioned it to her and she said to make sure it wasn't that I was eating and then going to bed, and if it kept happening to come back and she would check my gall bladder. Well, about a month later it's still happening, and it's more persistent. I made an appointment to go see her this week. I'm not sure how they check gall bladders. Or if there is something wrong what do they do about it? I'm scared I'm going to have to have surgery or something. I also don't know if she will have it checked during my appointment or if she will just order it and I'll have to go back for another appointment. I am cheap, and do not want two copays for one problem. Here I go, flying off the handle. It could just be nothing and I've got myself paying out the ying yang and having surgery lol. Crazy.
Next week is Travis's finals!!!! NO MORE SCHOOL!!!
For a couple months now I've been waking up in the middle of the night feeling really nauseous. I thought it was just indigestion, but sometimes I would actually be sick, and it still keeps happening. When I was at my dr.'s office last time I mentioned it to her and she said to make sure it wasn't that I was eating and then going to bed, and if it kept happening to come back and she would check my gall bladder. Well, about a month later it's still happening, and it's more persistent. I made an appointment to go see her this week. I'm not sure how they check gall bladders. Or if there is something wrong what do they do about it? I'm scared I'm going to have to have surgery or something. I also don't know if she will have it checked during my appointment or if she will just order it and I'll have to go back for another appointment. I am cheap, and do not want two copays for one problem. Here I go, flying off the handle. It could just be nothing and I've got myself paying out the ying yang and having surgery lol. Crazy.
Next week is Travis's finals!!!! NO MORE SCHOOL!!!
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